Wednesday, November 25, 2009

power of prayer

Today I woke painfully aware that the holidays are approaching. I never expected this to stir up so much emotion, but it certainly has. The hurt is much deeper and I feel completely empty. I want nothing more than to have Wyatt here, celebrating with our families. While we were in the hospital, I would think of Christmas a lot. I would think of how anxious I was for it to get here. I just knew by that time, we would be home with our little boy. Everything would be calm and peaceful. I was ready to shop for him and wake up on Christmas morning and just hold him close. Instead, I wonder around empty handed with a heavy heart. Something is definitely missing and I feel it in the pit of my stomach. It nags at me with every passing minute. Instead of holding my little boy, I am planing on attending services and memorials to honor him. Who would of thought that I would not have my little one here...that I would be lighting candles and standing in services in remembrance. Ryan and I found out that were pregnant in December...we told our families of our little one on Christmas Eve. The pain is almost unbearable. I never thought we would be this lonely place. Not for a minute. So I bow my head in prayer...knowing this is the only way I will survive this season...this season of life. While the hurt is constant and demanding, I will have to have hope. Just this morning I was reading about the power of prayer. God truly knows my heart...the book talked about how avoiding prayer creates anxiety, which in hand, causes us to avoid peace. I need to have an active and intimate prayer life. Satan knows that "prayerless lives are powerless lives, while prayful lives are powerful lives." Oh how I love this! I long for a powerful life! I also loved how Beth Moore talked about how our society minimizes difficulties because "it has no real answers." Isn't that the truth?! I know we want to brush things under the rug and keep moving...somethings are just too BIG. They will simply not fit...therefore, we must face them head on... We will only find peace through prayer. Beth Moore also says that, "we must walk with Christ step-by-step through this journey for the sake of protection, power, and a resulting unparalleled passion in our lives." "Prayer matters. The Spirit of God released through our prayers and the prayer of others turns cowards into conquerors, chaos into calm, cries into comfort." What peace I find in these words! So, I surrender life...and fall to my knees.

"Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7


  1. Powerful and true..thank you. On my knees with you, Ryan, and Wyatt in my heart.
    love you!! sis

  2. Love you guys so much!!!!!!!! Shannon

  3. Praying for you today and always.

  4. I have been praying for you all the time! Your story is such a faith journey. I admire your strength and faith in God during this time. It brings me such joy to see so many devoted Christian friends of yours from P.A. still rallying around each other. I am so proud to have taught so many of you and to see what amazing women and men of faith you have become. Love, Michelle Cearley

  5. Love you. And love you still. Anna

  6. Praying for you over the holidays.
    Michelle Cearley