Thursday, March 25, 2010
Lately I can't seem to get all of the questions out of my mind...all of the whys...Why Wyatt? Why us? Why did this happen after he fought so hard to live? Why?! Why can't I have my son here with me...with us?! Why do we have to endure so much and then so much more? I even go so far as tell God that it isn't fair...and I mean it. Really mean it. And while these thoughts were pouring over me this morning, God answered. Not like I wanted Him to, but gently as only He can. He reminded me that it is not all about me. All though I do tease with Ryan and tell him it is all about me...I know it is not. I can't tell you the number of people who have asked me the same thing. Telling us that we are such good parents and that it just doesn't make sense. Going on to tell us that some parents just shut down when they hear that something is "wrong" with their baby and distance themselves...but we did not. We loved harder. Even though it doesn't really make sense to me, I know that God keeps telling me that it isn't about me...it is all about HIM and HIS plans. His plans to prosper us and not to harm us. His plans to use Wyatt's life to touch the lives of many here on earth. His plans to enrich us and remind us of His faithfulness. So while I don't ususally notice these things amidst the pain, there are brief moments that I do. Brief moments that He dries my tears and quietly tells me it is not about you...it is about me. What great things You have accomplished through Wyatt's short life. What peace I can find in trusting You alone. Thank you God for allowing me to be a part of this great work here on earth.
Posted by jessica at 12:14 PM