Wednesday, December 15, 2010


well...we made it to little rock, through our echo cardiogram and ultrasound. and the best part is that everything looks wonderful. her heart is healthy and working properly. i can't begin to tell you what a relief this is. i remember when wyatt had gotten out of surgery and ryan looked at me and said, "well at least we know we can survive this." and he was so right. we did survive, and while i would do it all again if we had to...i am so glad we don't have to. when life gets hard you kind of take it as it comes. you don't really have another choice. at this point, i can't even begin to imagine what is like to come home with a healthy baby. in fact, i can't even imagine leaving a hospital with my baby in my arms. i remember my mom wheeling me out the day i was released and i just kept thinking this isn't right. i so badly wanted to just walk out. if i didn't have a baby with me, i didn't want to even give the impression i had just had one. of course, that was not going to happen.
i have to say our visit went very well. not only did we get good news, God blessed us with wonderful techs and nurses. i had been warned that the exam could be a little unnerving. just the waiting and unknown. having heard this, i had prayed and prayed that God would bless us with nurses, techs, and doctors that would be sensitive to our situation and needs. that He would grant us peace. and He did just that. the tech that preformed the echo cardiogram was simply wonderful. she talked to us the whole way through and was very sensitive to our situation. while she could not tell us if all was ok or not, she did a wonderful job walking us through...telling us what part of the heart she was looking at and what the echo cardiogram was showing. i am so thankful for her and this huge blessing.
when good things happen, people often say "God is good." and He is. but He is good everyday and in every situation. those words just don't often pass our lips when times are tough or we don't understand something. i have to say today that God is good. He was good yesterday. Today. and He will be tomorrow. thank you for your continued support and love. today we celebrate a healthy baby. we can't wait to meet you little one!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

so sorry...

i am so sorry it has been so long since i have written. it was never my intention to keep quiet this long :) life has just been full. and as i take a minute to breathe i realize how thankful i am that it has been so full. i am doing pretty well, but to be honest, this is such a hard time of year. i hesitate to say this, as if every other day is easy, but their is such a stillness amidst the chaos this time of year. so i am thankful that my hands have been busy for this leaves a little less time to focus on another holiday without wyatt. i am not totally sure what it is about this season, but as we celebrate the birth of Christ and the hope that brings, i find myself more homesick for heaven. which really, is a good place to be. it certainly keeps things in perspective.

i will not even to try to sum up this past month. but towards the end of november we did attend the candlelight service at memorial gardens. it was such a nice celebration. they do a wonderful job celebrating the lives of those who have gone before us and celebrating our Savior. Both of our families made the trip up to be with us and to celebrate wyatt's life. it was so very special. i am so thankful to have parents and family who so willingly wrap their arms around us and join us in celebrating our son.

Every year they read this poem entitled Christmas in Heaven by Wanda White. it always brings tears to my eyes, but i love it. i have to admit that while i cannot imagine how wonderful Christmas is in Heaven...i still wish i could celebrate with wyatt. one day.

i will have to post a picture of his marker soon. it is finished and i believe it has been fixed. this is a picture of it the night of the candlelight celebration. so sweet.

on another note, our little one due in march seems to be doing well. i have really started feeling her move around...which i love. what a sweet reminder of what is to come. i am not one to wish time away (or usually not) but i am so ready for march to get here. i am certainly getting anxious to see her face to face and hold her sweet body in my arms. only a little while longer :) i will be sure to update you on our nursery progress and her name. we have decided on a first name, but are taking our time on a middle name. so, i will let you know as soon as we start making decisions :) we have our big appointment in LR on friday. so, if you think about it, i ask you to please pray for our anxious hearts and for our little girl. there are so many emotions about this appointment...yet, at the same time, i certainly feel graced by God's peace. i will definitely keep you posted on what we find out. thank you in advance for your prayers.

"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love"
Psalm 33:18