missing wyatt

i am so glad to have a minute to sit down and write. life has been very bitter sweet over the past few weeks. while i am so thankful the pregnancy seems to be going wonderful, my heart is heavy as i miss wyatt. i continue to think back to this time last year and how he was in our arms. i almost seem to be counting down until the 23rd as if we are going to loose him again. over the past year my emotions have ranged from a few good moments here and there to a few good hours and eventually into a few good days, followed by a few good weeks, and somewhere in there i have returned to the living but always have our loss just below the surface. and the longer it stays there the closer it gets to the surface. at those times i just have to embrace the tears and heartache, experience them if you will, and then put these emotions back under the surface so that i can continue on. now don't get me wrong, while the sadness is under the surface i am able to live and breath and enjoy life and the wonderful people in my life, but i feel compelled to say that i will always miss wyatt. words cannot tell you how over joyed i am to have a little one on the way, but i also must say that while this child brings us hope, he or she will never take the sting away of not having wyatt. this child is our second child...we love this sweet new life as we love wyatt. they are both our children and our blessings from above. so i humbly ask that you continue to pray for mine and ryan's hearts as we miss our little one. and to pray for this miracle yet to be seen by our eyes. that he or she is healthy and growing and developing as he or she should. thank you so much for your continued support, love, and prayers.