trying to find peace

i so badly want to say that i am doing well and holding up, but this week is wearing me out. it is nothing out of the ordinary, it just feels long and exhausting. i know my grief comes in waves and varying degrees. right now the days seem to go on forever and i want nothing more than for them to pass quickly. i so badly want to hold my little boy again. there are days when i can find peace in knowing that i will see him again, but there are days i feel as though i cannot wait any longer. i am ready for this wave to pass.