a few pictures

just wanted to post a few pictures. i can't get enough of this little one!

the last picture makes me smile...finley and wyatt...my sweet little ones.

i love them both so much!

easter

this easter was much better than the last. one thing i have found is that grief hits when i least expect it. i can spend days dreading certain events or upcoming dates, but it always hits the strongest on days i didn't 'plan' on. not that the days i expected to be difficult aren't but the days i don't expect are sometimes more difficult. last easter was just one of those days. really, every day continues to be a part of a long journey, but let's be honest, some days are just down right miserable while others are closer to 'normal.'

ryan , finley and i went to little rock this weekend. her first road trip :) which i have to say, went very well. she made it the whole way down without having to stop. yay! there were a few minutes we were a little worried we were going to have to stop...but the trusty old pacifier did the trick. while we were in little rock, we were able to visit with some of our wonderful friends and spend some time with our families. ryan got a little golf in while mom finley and i managed to run around a little and actually get out for lunch. we also went out to dinner...her first experiences away from the house :) i will admit we were very careful selecting places we went....we were sure to choose restaurants we thought wouldn't be too crowded. i know we sound pretty psycho, but i will do just about anything to keep this munchkin well. at least as long as i can :) she will be 6 weeks old tomorrow so i am starting to feel a tad better getting her out but we are taking it one step at a time. poor girl! she may have the most protective parents ever! i swore i would never be like this...who was i kidding?! oh well. anyways, it was so wonderful to get out of town for a bit and even more wonderful to spend time with friends and family! i feel so blessed.

finley wore the dress i got baptized in for easter. what's funny is i was old enough to sit up when i wore it :)

four weeks

i can't believe it, but finley was four weeks old on tuesday! i know you would think i have been taking tons of pictures...but i haven't. so today, we took a break and took some pictures. i am really trying to capture her each month to document her first year. i have a little project up my sleeve :) so i have to stay on top of it! not to mention, i want LOTS of pictures of her.

a lot has gone on this past week....last weekend her dad gave her her first bottle. which went really well and means mom can have a little more freedom...occasionally. we just knew she would have to take one at some point since wedding season is coming up (for those of you who don't know....i am a photographer) and i will be gone for long stretches at a time. it was also nice since one of my dear dear friends came to visit this past weekend and we were able to get out for a bit and i didn't have to worry about her getting hungry while ryan watched her.

she also went on her first walk! and loved it! it was so nice to get out of the house and enjoy the beautiful weather. we have gone on several walks since then and i have to say avery is thrilled. however, i have noticed that every time i put her in her car seat avery thinks we are going on a walk. see i haven't really taken finley out of the house much...just to run a few errands...drive through only....and then on her walks....so naturally, avery associates the car seat with a walk. this will change though as soon as we start getting lil' bit out of the house more. we're just a tad protective right now :) well, that about sums everything up but i do want to answer some of the questions i have gotten....

i had the curtains in her nursery made. the fabric is from a local fabric store...the Fabric Gallery (they always have great stuff and are so fun to work with)

i ordered her headbands from etsy. the cream one was from sweetly fallen. the brown one from snazziedrawers. i also ordered a turquoise one i LOVE from claramarie08

and the canvas (it's actually wood) print on her nursery wall with the writing is from a local store called Riffraff which also has some wonderful stuff!

oh and i almost forgot...her middle name is holden :) ryan made that decision as i was getting ready the morning we went in to have her...

i think that's it! i hope you have a wonderful weekend!

she's here!

i seriously cannot believe it has taken me this long to get back on here :) finley was 3 weeks old tuesday. time is flying! she is such a sweet baby and a huge blessing to our lives. she has been growing like crazy...which makes me so sad. however, i cannot wait for all of the fun we are going to have as she gets older. just to fill you in, everything went really well the day she was born. we arrived at the hospital around 7. i was taken to the O.R. at 10:09 and she was born around 10:29....or something like that. ha! so it was super quick! ryan and i loved having her early in the day. it was so nice to be awake and have time to spend with her. she also got to meet several of the people who have been praying and loving on her for some time. it was wonderful. just the way it was 'supposed' to be. we came home the friday after i had her...so the 18th. what a good feeling! it was so nice to put her in her car seat and LEAVE the hospital with her! in fact, we were in such a hurry to get out with her we forgot to run by the nursery and have her umblical cord clamp removed...whoops! so we went back saturday and had that taken care of :) she had her one week appointment that monday...the 21st. we feel so blessed, as we were getting ready to check out of the hospital on friday, the physican on call came to visit with us and let us know she was good to go. my heart about stopped as the nurse told us the doctors name. it was the same doctor who had taken care of wyatt the night he was born. what were the odds?! when he came in, he introduced himself and told us he had checked out our perfect little angel. then ryan told him he had actually taken care of both of our little angels. and i couldn't believe it...but he responded with 'i thought so. i recognized your names and thought you were wyatt's mom and dad.' wow! let's just say he earned A LOT of brownie points in my book! i couldn't believe he had made that association and remembered our sweet boy. thank you GOD! so needless to say, i love him already :) ok back to the appointment...she was an ounce from her birth weight which was 6 pounds 14 ounces. so we were thrilled. i must say...she is a good eater....she gets that from both her mom and her dad :) she had her 2 week appointment a week and a half later and had gained a pound and a half! so, i think it is safe to say she is doing well and growing like a weed! other than that, we have been cuddling and just enjoying every minute with her. she is spoiled rotton, but hey, why not?! we certainly wish her big brother was here to love on her and spoil her with us, but we know he is loving on her from Heaven. i'll try to do a better job updating. i just can't seem to make myself put her down :)

this is it...

ok so i have waited until THE last minute to post pictures of finley's nursery. the ottoman came today....and i just couldn't post pictures without it... so here it is! i am thrilled with the way it turned out!

it looks TOTALLY different than it did...but this sweet girl needed her own room. if you can't tell, the ceiling is a light grey and her pictures will go in the frames. the ottoman opens up and we can store goodies inside :) her bedding is a gold fabric with a sparkly silver thread that runs through it. it is quite fabulous :) and i know we are missing a letter....ryan hasn't confirmed her middle name yet. ha! so not like us!

and i just loved this! we are hanging it up tonight.

well that's about it. i can't wait to bring little bit home! thanks so much for all of your prayers. we feel so blessed to have so many wonderful friends and family.

counting down

while i have been handling life better than i expected right now, i find my emotions right under the surface. while this is such an exciting time for us...as finley will make her arrival on tuesday ( i am so thrilled)...there is certainly fear, apprehension, and sadness about where we have been. this sounds so silly...i know...but since loosing wyatt it has been hard to imagine ever being able to have a baby. as if, because we lost one we will never have another. i am sure it is because wyatt was our first and we were never able to bring him home. i just cannot imagine being able to actually leave a hospital with our child and experience life with children. the good news is that by the grace of God we will be able to experience this next week and i will hopefully rid myself of this fear.
as i was working out with a friend this morning....or maybe not working out too hard :)..more like spending some good quality time with a friend :)...she was asking me how ryan and i have been doing and basically if i thought we would be ok before tuesday i was again reminded how blessed i am to have such incredible friends. i know i have said this before, but i truly believe it, God certainly works through you when you allow Him. so, thank you! and yes, we should be ok. but i do think will have some emotional moments in between. while our hearts are so overjoyed to meet our sweet girl, we continue to miss our little boy. i guess before we lost wyatt i just figured or liked to think that time would heal someones broken heart and that another child would fill that emptiness. it was a great thought...as life would be much easier then. i just didn't know any better....but now i do. time has allowed God to work in my heart and teach me how to live with our loss. time has allowed God to comfort me and grow closer to Him. time has allowed God to show me how to live with both sorrow and joy simultaneously. time has allowed Him to do mighty works in my life. and for that i am forever thankful. so no, time does not heal a broken heart or take away the pain...but God will. He gives us the strength to get through each and every day. He shows us unconditional love. and promises that one day He will take away all our pain. knowing this, i can live a life of thankfulness and happiness here on earth despite where we have been. thank you God! and thank you for our sweet blessing...finley. we cannot wait to hold her in our arms and tell her face to face how much we love her. she has already been such a gift and loved beyond words. You have already used her to move mountains in our lives and i look forward to learning more about you through her.

look who's here...

my sister, leslie, had her baby girl last week. she was born on february 23rd at 7:59 p.m. weighing in at 7 pounds 2 ounces 20 3/4 inches. i can't get enough of her. i love her so much. she is beautiful! here are a few pictures i took of her the other day....

i can't wait for her cousin to hurry up and get here. i know they will be the best of friends. i feel so blessed to share this time with my sister and that these two sweet girls will have each other. they just don't know how lucky they are yet :)